Girls Night Out!!

Once every couple of weeks I go out, late at night, just me & my friends....it is wind down time, it is our time without kids or husbands, without the worry or stress that everyday life throws at us, it is goofy time, a time to laugh, a time to tell each other our thoughts, concerns, worries & triumphs, it is GIRLS NIGHT!!!

Last night was the night!! We were going to see Dear John at the movies, I was excited...I needed the night away, I had just had an incredible workout at the gym, I had school lunches packed, the house straightened up, gotten a lot done during the day & had done well on eating & doing what I should, so I deserved it....

I loaded my pocket with a low fat yogurt & a granola bar...I tucked my "life is good" mug under my arm & I was ready to go!!!

The first thing my friends wanted to do was eat something!! That is great I thought, I can do this...we ended up at Farr's Fresh Ice Cream & Yogurt....for those that have been there, STAY AWAY & for those that haven't, DON'T EVEN GET NEAR IT!!! ha ha, it is super good....you go in, there are about 16 different flavors of tart yogurt, yogurt, ice cream & custard to choose from.....you don't have to know what kind you want, because they help you by giving you these cute little 'tester cups' to try them all if you want!!!

Then you fill your cup (by the way they only have 2 sizes, large & larger) with whatever type of ice cream you want, then you turn around to the most amazing (I am quoting my 7 year old!!) array of toppings....I mean come on, if you have thought about it being on top of your ice cream, then chances are you will find it there....they range from candy bars to fruit to hot fudge!!! It is amazing!! After you are done, then you go over, put your creation on the scales & pay by the ounce....

So we go in, I just stand there, looking at all the people find joy in picking out & creating their masterpieces.....my friends included....I don't even feel a temptation to get one, I just encourage them to pick the healthiest stuff they can - the tart yogurt with fruit & nuts - my one friend tells me I am high!! :), she goes for the gusto, I am not jealous of her choice, it looked divine, but just not worth the calories to me....my other friend gets what I recommended because she hasn't seen me since this challenge started & was amazed at what I told her I had accomplished so far!!

Then comes the movie....we get our ticket, we are assaulted by the smell of fresh popped popcorn, my friend buys a large (she always does, she always offers some, I always refuse, I am not a movie popcorn person - I enjoy popcorn at home, when I can make it, fresh & hot, but just not at the movie, for the most part - I have to REALLY be in the mood for it)....anyhow we go in, me with my full water bottle, yogurt & granola - them loaded down with popcorn & drinks....

The ticket guy gives my friend trouble for bringing in her own water bottle, didn't say a word to me - what do you think he would have done had he known that I had stashed my yogurt & granola?? hmmmmm he he he

I was proud that I had my little snack, ate it quickly before the movie started, because I read somewhere recently that watching TV while eating slows down your metabolism....so I don't want it to slow, I just want to enjoy!!! The movie was good, the company the BEST & the resistance to eating when my friends eat a new hurdle I faced head on & did!!!

It saddens me to think that we are so tempted everywhere we go to EAT or DRINK to feel a part of the social crowd, my friend asked me, don't you feel awkward not eating with us?? I just said no, I am enjoying your company, I am good....

I am glad that I can still have girls night out & that my friends love & respect me & what I am choosing to do to not make it an issue, that is so helpful!! And I am glad I thought ahead & took my own 'treat' that I could enjoy (I would have taken carrots, but they crunch too loud!!)

really!!?? I have to think of a title???

So this morning I met my mom down at the gym & worked out with her for about an hour, it was fun to see her on the machines & teach her what I have learned so far, as she has taught me so much since she did the challenge 2 years ago & especially since I started the challenge myself...it was a great start to the day...
Tonight Matt & I met with Julianne, our trainer, for a workout....
I was exhuasted, but I really wanted to push myself & I did....I was pretty sure that I was going to DIE on both the elliptical & bike (when it goes to the highest level/resistance there is, I am sure I have fallen off my imaginary bike & have passed out on the side of the 'road')...anyhow, after getting my heart pumped up & going, I went to the weights & really pushed myself, I am ready to do MORE on the weights!! Towards the end of the workout I got into a silly fit of giggles....I think I am too worn out & tired to not just giggle!!! I was just feeling so awkward & goofy looking sitting on a mat trying to imitate exercises....I swear coordination has left this body & so it was just goofy...
On the way home I told Matt, okay, so I had FUN tonight, it was great to laugh & to just let loose.....I want & need to have fun while I am doing this & not worry so much about being perfect or better, but to just ACCEPT where I am & be in the moment!!! I think that while doing this challenge I am going to discover a lot of things about me, some that I want to face & others that I would rather keep bottled up inside!!! But it will be good, it is a complete overhaul on my body, mind & soul!!!
As I write this, I have the olympics on, watching all these AMAZING athletes & realize that I too can go for gold in everything I do!!!
Go team USA & go us!!!!

another week!!

It is the start...
of another week...
May the force be with me...
and you...
in our quest!!!

feeling the frustration of finding the time....

I am usually very organized in most things I do....

Like most women I balance a lot of different things all at once, wondering when something else will be tossed my way, wanting to be included in the balance. Sometimes I find it easy to let something drop & move on, other times I feel very inclined to hold on to it all, doing the best I can to keep the balance.


Balancing all this stuff takes time to have it all organized to run smoothly. I often tell the family that a magic fairy really DOES NOT live at our house, but while they are work or school, I am home getting things done....you know what I am talking about, housework, laundry, shopping, bills, cooking, etc., on top of working both in my home with my home business & teaching at the schools, doing my church callings, finding "ME" time & now tossing exercise, calorie counting, meal planning & nutrition classes into the equation.


For a long time I used every single excuse under the sun NOT to spend time ON me, I didn't spend time making my life just as important as those around me...I didn't like leaving the children, I hated feeling guilty for even CONSIDERING taking time to go out & do something for me, exercise was something that I would have to do when I could find the time later, after the kids were in bed (but honestly I was too tired at that point, so it would have to wait until tomorrow - guess what tomorrow never came, it just came & went!) There just wasn't the TIME I needed to spend on making myself a priority (or so I thought)...I felt like I was spending all my time on doing things for others....one of the great pitfalls that I think mothers of young ones experience...


Time isn't something that I feel like I have a lot of....seriously sometimes it doesn't feel like 24 hours is enough to get it all done...I am sitting here, feeling like a pressure cooker waiting to explode with all the responsibilities I have...finding the time to plan out a menu (it used to be easy, I would just switch up the 30 meals we were used to having - okay it was more than that, but you know what I am talking about, the "rut menu" - having spaghetti at least once every two weeks, because it was easy & cheap, pizza another night, chicken & rice, etc) planning a time to go shopping while the children are at school, tossing in an hour at the gym, housework, appointments, prior commitments with work, etc.

Right now I think the thing that is killing me about time is that I am "in labor"; you see I am going to be teaching for 6 straight weeks at my children's elementary school while one of the 6th grade teachers has a baby & has her maternity leave...I am really excited, yet I am also overwhelmed right now...you see I don't know WHEN it is going to start (she is already progressing, but not due until March 6th), I could get 'the call' at anytime & so I feel a need to be organized with meals, shopping, a clean home, a plan of when I can go exercise, bills up to date, laundry caught up, etc. I just sat with Matt trying to figure out a menu, one that included several different meals, because the "rut menu" isn't going to cut it anymore...I felt for just a minute that this wasn't FAIR that I couldn't just run & get hamburgers at Wendy's anymore or call for the pizza man to bring my dinner for 3 nights a week (I really haven't ever done that, but doesn't it sound heavenly?? sort of??), I feel like I don't have the energy to keep up with the demands this job is going to expect, yet I know that I can do it....

It will just take TIME to figure out...time to understand that I need to make the gym a priority, eating healthy will just mean taking time to cut up a container of veggies to take to school with me, making the time to come home at lunch to eat a good meal & start dinner preparations, coming to the nutrition class will boost my spirits & having the support of my husband will drive me along...

After all, isn't it about time??? :) And I now KNOW that I AM WORTH THE TIME!!!!

PS Matt just listened to what I wrote & the cheeky monkey just said, well that took some TIME to write that much!! ha ha, funny honey!!!

Stress induced exercise....

...long day
...meeting with trainer
...stress at a new high
...sweat
...the burn
...the success
...I LOVE STRESS INDUCED EXERCISE!!!!!

My first of many "a-ha moments"

My way of thinking has been different this past week....I have always felt like my mind was boggled with so much stuff, but this week I feel like I have been paying ATTENTION more to the boggling!!
I was talking to my mom about how I felt like I had been tossed into the deep end of things & told to swim, without lessons on how to breathe, move my arms or kick my feet...then she helped me understand that this week wasn't a waste & I hadn't been tossed into any water without help, for this week was a chance to start the wheel of thinking....
Let me explain...
I feel like I have been more aware of what I eat, when I eat & why I eat....as well as how I eat (i.e. in the car, on the run, standing up, etc)....I have also been more aware of what triggers my eating, whether it is hunger, boredom, stress, etc....
As I have been paying attention & making mental notes (filing it somewhere among the boggle), I had a moment today that made me STOP & take REAL notice!!
I sub-teach at elementary schools, I LOVE the job, it gives me a chance to be around my children, since it has been hard to have everyone of them in school full time for the first time since I got married & started having children....I enjoy being in the classroom, exercising my brain, watching young children grasp a concept for the first time (this is part of how I am feeling about this challenge), I love teaching children, being around them & helping them learn - however today, well today was one of those days, those days when NO child in the classroom will listen, where every child (even the well behaved ones) pushed every button they could find or make up to see what the sub would do....
I left the school at lunch time to go home to eat, as soon as I got in my van, I immediately called Matt & told him, "okay partner, right now you need to give me just ONE good reason why I should NOT go to Chevron and get me a dr. pepper, since I am SURE I am not going to make it throughout the rest of this day without one, this class has pushed me & I am not sure I can make it without one, I deserve this, I have earned it by dealing with the unruly class so far today, so come one, just one, give me one...."
Well I should maybe clue you in that dr. pepper is my weakness, I LOVE it, NO I won't drink diet, I am not a fan, I don't want diet, I want the real stuff, on ice, sweet refreshment & of course a dr. pepper can't be complete without some form of chocolate to wash it down....so you see by going & getting a dr. pepper I would have to get a snickers to go with it, a huge step back for me & the start of giving myself 'permission' to do it again, when I felt JUSTIFIED in needing it....
So the "a-ha moment": realizing that NOTHING that happens to me gives me the PERMISSION to eat or drink something that I crave, just because I crave it! And that the items I choose to eat or drink WILL mean that I get to have a set back, whether that is more time at the gym, something less healthy that I can eat later, or the difference between one size of jeans verses another....
So dr. pepper, for now you will stay on tap for others...
I will miss the great times we have had, I will not forget how you pulled me along all these years, figure out how you can be healthy & maybe, just maybe we will meet up again!!

Uncertain....

When I first thought about doing the challenge I was overcome with the thought that just maybe I would FINALLY get to do all that I have wanted to do with my weight, my health (both inside & out), & I would finally be the person I dreamed I could be, I didn't take into consideration all the uncertainties that would come along with it.
Uncertain that I could control my bad eating habits....
Uncertain that I could & would exercise more, that 30 minutes in the gym won't cut it....
Uncertain that nobody would care....
Uncertain that I would allow deep inner feelings to attack me....
Uncertain that my energy level would increase & nothing would get in the way....
Now I understand more, yes after just 5 days, that NOBODY but me can control those eating habits, I am the only one that understands what makes me tick & makes me think I am worth every bit of this challenge, and while I want people to care, I don't want babysitters on my food/exercise intake, just sit by & watch, cheer me on both on good days & mostly on the bad days!!
I have to be the one to motivate myself, because at the end of the day, it is me that decides what I am going to do....and how I am going to do it....
I can't & won't allow the vices from the outside get in the way, I MUST be determined & I must realize that it isn't going to happen over night, I need to MOTIVATE myself & get rid of all the excuses!!
I don't want to be uncertain, I can & will succeed!!

Here we go.....

Well Friday was the big day!!
Weigh in & measurements done...
Learned some statistics about cardiovascular diseases, enough to scare me into wanting to be healthier....
Now then, big question of the day....WHY in the world when you are told you are to watch what you eat, does EVERYTHING sound & taste so dang good?? And WHY is one ALWAYS hungry....
that is the question of my day!!