I am usually very organized in most things I do....
Like most women I balance a lot of different things all at once, wondering when something else will be tossed my way, wanting to be included in the balance. Sometimes I find it easy to let something drop & move on, other times I feel very inclined to hold on to it all, doing the best I can to keep the balance.
Balancing all this stuff takes time to have it all organized to run smoothly. I often tell the family that a magic fairy really DOES NOT live at our house, but while they are work or school, I am home getting things done....you know what I am talking about, housework, laundry, shopping, bills, cooking, etc., on top of working both in my home with my home business & teaching at the schools, doing my church callings, finding "ME" time & now tossing exercise, calorie counting, meal planning & nutrition classes into the equation.
For a long time I used every single excuse under the sun NOT to spend time ON me, I didn't spend time making my life just as important as those around me...I didn't like leaving the children, I hated feeling guilty for even CONSIDERING taking time to go out & do something for me, exercise was something that I would have to do when I could find the time later, after the kids were in bed (but honestly I was too tired at that point, so it would have to wait until tomorrow - guess what tomorrow never came, it just came & went!) There just wasn't the TIME I needed to spend on making myself a priority (or so I thought)...I felt like I was spending all my time on doing things for others....one of the great pitfalls that I think mothers of young ones experience...
Time isn't something that I feel like I have a lot of....seriously sometimes it doesn't feel like 24 hours is enough to get it all done...I am sitting here, feeling like a pressure cooker waiting to explode with all the responsibilities I have...finding the time to plan out a menu (it used to be easy, I would just switch up the 30 meals we were used to having - okay it was more than that, but you know what I am talking about, the "rut menu" - having spaghetti at least once every two weeks, because it was easy & cheap, pizza another night, chicken & rice, etc) planning a time to go shopping while the children are at school, tossing in an hour at the gym, housework, appointments, prior commitments with work, etc.
Right now I think the thing that is killing me about time is that I am "in labor"; you see I am going to be teaching for 6 straight weeks at my children's elementary school while one of the 6th grade teachers has a baby & has her maternity leave...I am really excited, yet I am also overwhelmed right now...you see I don't know WHEN it is going to start (she is already progressing, but not due until March 6th), I could get 'the call' at anytime & so I feel a need to be organized with meals, shopping, a clean home, a plan of when I can go exercise, bills up to date, laundry caught up, etc. I just sat with Matt trying to figure out a menu, one that included several different meals, because the "rut menu" isn't going to cut it anymore...I felt for just a minute that this wasn't FAIR that I couldn't just run & get hamburgers at Wendy's anymore or call for the pizza man to bring my dinner for 3 nights a week (I really haven't ever done that, but doesn't it sound heavenly?? sort of??), I feel like I don't have the energy to keep up with the demands this job is going to expect, yet I know that I can do it....
It will just take TIME to figure out...time to understand that I need to make the gym a priority, eating healthy will just mean taking time to cut up a container of veggies to take to school with me, making the time to come home at lunch to eat a good meal & start dinner preparations, coming to the nutrition class will boost my spirits & having the support of my husband will drive me along...
After all, isn't it about time??? :) And I now KNOW that I AM WORTH THE TIME!!!!
PS Matt just listened to what I wrote & the cheeky monkey just said, well that took some TIME to write that much!! ha ha, funny honey!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Wow, your blog just made ME feel overwhelmed. I have never had to plan on teaching for someone whenever the phone call comes but yes, I think that most of us are overloaded. Your husband is right, it does take time to write this blog and it IS part of the program. You are very good at it! It does help to write it all out and vent, hoping that someone else can understand. I think we all understand and wish you well with everything. I think it used to be said that we need to excercise for at least 45 minutes without stopping but then I heard that even 10 minutes here and there throughout the day is good. I say we all try our best, do it when we can, but don't not do it. During my years of raising children they always came first and exerise was not thought of but now exercise has to be a priority. Something may have to suffer so that it can get done. For me, the thing that is going to have to suffer is my house. My husband is a good helper and what doesn't get done always waits for us.
ReplyDeleteHope your labor goes quickly and you know soon when you will start teaching. Knowing will help get rid of some of the stress. Once you begin and settle into a routine you will do GREAT. Thanks for sharing with us.
I am sorry you are experiencing so much stress and pressure right now!! Hopefully you will be able to get into a routine that will help you be successful. You are right though, we are all worth the time!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Brittany & Brenda...
ReplyDeleteIt just helps when you are able to have a plan, you know!!??
Hope to see you both soon!!