another week

I am looking forward to another week of working hard & meeting goals that I have set for myself...
There have been moments during the challenge that I really wished I had done something different, that I had really held onto a moment for a longer period of time & relished in it for a bit longer....
But hitting the last 25 days of this challenge has just reiterated to me that it is not over & I will continue to learn from the lessons & mistakes I have made & that every single moment is a new moment to relish & conquer....
AWWWW, the power of ones mind, you can do ANYTHING you set your mind too, that is a lesson I learned very well last night!! I am going to be prideful for a moment & say that I am amazed at myself & the one thing I have been able to accomplish....I am proud of myself for a moment of time!!! I set a goal & not only did I reach it, I exceeded it....and it had NOTHING to do with what I eat, how much I lose or the amount I work out, it was just something I had to do!! Thanks babe for pushing me along on the journey!!!

finding satisfaction

Satisfaction: (sat-is-fak-shuhn) noun - an act of satisfying, fulfillment, gratification, contentment; confident acceptance of something as satisfactory, dependable, true, etc; the opportunity to redress or right a wrong.
(I know what I want to say, just not sure if it will come across like I want, so here goes nothing:

This word has been swimming through my mind a lot the past few days....for lots of different reasons...
a: finding satisfaction in working out hard & making progress
b: finding satisfaction in what I choose to eat
c: finding satisfaction in what I choose NOT to eat
d: finding satisfaction in the progress that I feel
e: finding satisfaction in how I am changing physically, mentally & emotionally
f: finding satisfaction in how others perceive what I have been doing (compliments)
g: finding satisfaction in knowing that I am changing a wrong into a right (see above definition)

So last night was a HUGE a-ha moment for me & this "satisfaction issue". I realize that I am counting on others to help me to FEEL this satisfaction that I want so badly - let me explain....I have been running into friends & acquaintances throughout this challenge, some that I see on a regular basis & some that I haven't seen for months. Upon seeing some of these friends, I have anxiously awaited for them to make some profound comment on the change that I am certain is happening while on this challenge, I am sitting on the edge of my seat, if you will, anxious to hear them gush over the amount of weight loss they see in me (I am vain, yes, I know I have lost, why can't others see it too??), then last night, after spending an entire day with a group of ladies that I haven't seen since last fall & not have ONE of them comment on the 'new look of Ali' it hit me: I HAVE TO BE THE ONE THAT IS SATISFIED WITH WHAT I AM DOING, NOT WAITING AROUND FOR OTHERS TO GIVE ME THE COMMENTS!!!
I am learning, slowly to be proud of what I have been able to do, I am proud that I go to the gym & work hard, I am proud when I make better choices on how I cook & what I eat, I am even proud when I choose to eat something I enjoy & KNOW when to stop, I am proud when I realize that I have changed something so wrong in my life to something better, I am proud when I move my belt up a notch because if not my pants will fall (and I have told my boys that crack kills, so....), I am proud of myself, even if I am walking into that wall of disappointment more times that I am walking down the hall of fame!!

Finding satisfaction in what I am doing is a huge milestone for me.....

Hitting walls

I should get the hint...really it isn't that hard....Sleep IS my friend, as I was going into the wellness center this morning with my mom, I seriously hit into the wall while trying to walk upstairs to exercise - the anticipation & excitement to get busy & sweat was too much for me to contain I suppose...not really, it was the lack of being able to see in the wee hours - but as much as I am not a fan of getting up, I AM a fan of getting to the gym & starting my day off on the right foot!!!
Actually I am hitting walls all over the place....the wall of making a menu & sticking to it; the wall of planning a shopping list & actually going to the store; the wall of chocolate temptation!! It has been worse this past week than it has been the whole challenge, I can't stop thinking & dreaming of chocolate - the nice creamy brown wall of chocolate...but I am resisting (but not without a fit or two); hitting the wall of realizing that in 5 weeks we are done, what is a girl to do?? Will we keep in touch, will we not care about all we learned & go back to bad habits?? What walls await us???
I am feeling good about where I am at this point, still have a few things I want to change & feel the frustration of the wall of disappointment....

Forget the weight room!!

I am only joking, don't forget the weight room, but I am telling you the bug I got yesterday worked my arms & upper body better than anything Julianne or Traci have thrown my way up to this point. AND NO THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO UP THE PROGRAM!!!
Remember it is all about me this week....well one of the things that I cherish & desire is to have a clean house, I have really, really relaxed on how anal I am about the house, after all I finally got not just one, but TWO dogs that live IN the house with us....trust me, this is VERY unlike me, but it is another post all together....now going back to my desire....
I have started to learn that having a CLEAN, meaning eat off the floor clean, house is a harder task than I have had the energy, time or strength to deal with for a very long time....but one thing was bugging me & yesterday was "tackle day"....my kitchen floor
It is one of the first things you will see when you enter into my home & it was driving me CRAZY, so after dropping the boys off to school I zoomed past target, loaded myself down with a big bottle of pine-sol (can't really stand the stuff, but I wanted to be able to SMELL clean!!), a big scrubbing brush & rubber gloves....headed home & started scrubbing the floor on my hands & knees....
I shall have bruises for a few days I am afraid (or at least sore, sore knees) & my arms were so worked out that the weights nearly did me in this morning, but I went, lifted & got through it....I look forward to having a nap today AND tomorrow now, for crying out loud I deserve it....
So if you want a good upper body workout, get cleaning!!
(side note to all you men out there, when the wife asks you if you can see a difference, JUST SAY YES, even if you can't really see - now to be fair to Matt, our floor is very, very hard to see the dirt - a reason I picked it, it hits the yucky well - but my son will attest that it was DIRTY - so while Matt couldn't really see the difference until I pointed it all out (I still had a dirty patch to finish), men just lie if you must!! :) he he )

This week....

This week I am kicking it up more, gonna dedicate more time at the gym & watch every freaking thing that goes into my mouth....this week I am going to spend doing some things for ME, only ME, I am being selfish!! I plan to go to the temple, I plan to go for an afternoon walk, I plan to go paint at color me mine, I plan on doing a boutique for my business, I plan on only working at the school Friday this week, because I NEED a break & I need to balance myself out a bit....
I plan on taking a nap Wednesday, because my friend & I are going out tomorrow night to a late movie, I plan on getting it all together so that I can kick it up some more!!
So here's to ME & the things I will discover this week because of ME, MYSELF & I....

Why oh "Y"?

Spring break is one of my most favorite times of the year, I LOVE knowing that I have a week to catch up & spend with my boys!! We have endless time to do fun 'day trips', going places that we enjoy!!

Every year I try to figure out something new that we haven't done before & toss that into the equation....well this year, MATT came up with the idea....

"Let's hike up to the Y on the mountain!!" he says....

Now then I have lived in Provo my entire life (except when I was on my mission & when I was a nanny) & I have NEVER, EVER had a desire to hike up to sit on the Y...but this time it actually sounded FUN!!?? really hiking & fun in the same sentence?? hmmmm (must be those early mornings & the lack of chocolate that is clouding my mind!!)

So up we got on Saturday, Matt packed the backpack (now mind you I had NO idea what he put in there until I put the pack on - being nice, we were going to take turns carrying it) I teased him all the way up that he took the entire fridge!! (he is a good sport)

At first I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it, we hadn't even hit the third turn & I was sweating buckets, had my jacket off (I was the only one winded mind you), felt the burn in my legs like no other & was wheezing all the while!! Then I took the fridge off my back & sailed the rest of the way up....

It was so amazing to sit up on the side of the mountain with Matt & the boys & know that I had the strength to enjoy such a hike....to be a PART of the adventure, rather than send everyone else off to have the fun!!

AMAZING!!!

all I am saying is this:

AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!
We are more than 1/2 way through....(said in awe, panic & total disbelief!!)
last 6 week workout anyone!!! ha ha
pushing harder, harder, harder!!!